Last week, I was in the pit with my client.
It was a lonely place for him, with hard edges and no one around to help him out.
It was a familiar place, even though he hated admitting that to himself.
“It doesn’t make sense, how do I end up here?”
Do you sometimes have moments of feeling completely unresourceful? I do. It was like that for him, but in a way that made it feel impossible to do anything about it.
What would you do if you were the coach? Would you feel uncomfortable for him? Would you feel an urge to get this solved – quickly?
Or could you sit with him, full of trust?
Having my Soul-based Coaching toolkit means that I can sit with my client in full trust that he will find his way out.
My job is not:
- negating his experience telling him ‘there is no pit’ or ‘it’s not so bad’
- or working hard to find a ladder somewhere, or maybe a rope
- or talk about my times in my own various pits and how I got out
- or suggest ‘why not call for help?’
It’s not even my job to give him a leg-up.
Why not? If that would get him out?
Because this time I’m right there with him. This time I could. But what about next time, when no one is around that could help and he finds himself here?
It’s my job to help him find his unique solution. And the quickest AND most powerful way I know how to do that, is to help him seed and grow his own solution in real-time.
It may take a bit of feeling uncomfortable, but it will help him break a pattern of a lifetime.
It starts with learning how to hold space and allowing the discomfort to just be there.
And then learning how to help your client find their own seeds, and their own way of growing that seed.
So that by the end of the session, not only was he out of the pit, but he now has a way of dealing with that pit that will help him any time the pit will open up.
And that’s structural change..