Paloma White, Academy trainer, asked a client if their Soul-based Coaching sessions helped her with her boundaries.
This is what she had to say:
1) You’re in the drivers seat
First of all, I was put in a position to own what I was going through, and that in it of itself puts me in the driver’s seat. With boundaries, I’ve noticed I will subside my preferences in order to appease those of another person, or even appease a constructed idea, due to being dissociated in some way with my sense of myself in the first place, or not seeing that my boundaries have a worthy or humane place. This modality majorly gives me the opportunity to familiarize myself with, and practice, asserting my own reality, boundaries & internal world among others (whether what I am experiencing & expressing is “savory” or “unsavory”.) In life, if there is something I want, I feel more welcoming to own my specific boundaries within myself, befriend them, and express forwardly.
2) Inspiring creation, within my boundaries
The coach (you) isn’t giving instructions or saying what to “work on”, which is really uplifting and healing in a society where its inbred to CONSTANTLY fix each other & ourselves to fit a particular mold of comfort and ease, rather than letting that comfort and ease come through ourselves naturally. I got in touch with and expressed my own answers, which is a powerful tool. This is a powerful modality for self-empowerment & expression.
3) I have my own reality and I CAN own it. It is beneficial to share myself.
I didn’t have to present anything other than what was coming up for me. I’ve struggled with people pleasing, and I know I’m not alone in that. The modality is interesting for this particularly because I had to be forward about what was coming up for me, in order for you to continue coaching. I truly accepted and considered myself & did not just fall to your influence only; there is no session to be had without my output. It highlights healthy collaboration, rather than codependency.
4) Doesn’t move forward without me
This modality only progresses so long as I am engaged with it. I couldn’t bulldoze myself, at least not without knowing it myself, since the modality works so closely with harnessing emotions.
5) Allowance to get through your own pressures
Also, the sessions highlighted that I am worthy & ABLE to navigate even when I am struggling, or when I experience natural pressure. It allowed me to see through the pressure that I was facing, rather than “disengage”, or suppress my authenticity further… this relates to boundaries because if there is something I want, I will naturally experience pressure, and I’d like the permission to face that.
This modality instills the necessity of MY expression and the process of befriending boundaries as they are the greatest tools for navigating obstacles. This is probably the most dignifying take away, and upon reflecting I have noticed days following our sessions I was much more forward with other people with simple boundaries & preferences, and with more personal ones, and I was more honest with myself.
6) Permission to be where you are, compared to mainstream
In past experiences with mainstream counseling modalities, there’s little room to allow emotions without having someone swoop in to say what should happen next, really. I came to you, and you asked me questions about what things looked like, and what I wanted – NOT saying things were wrong or right, which is so COMMON in mainstream therapy modalities which naturally puts the client in a position to surrender their internal world to some degree, creating confusion with boundaries.
Soul-based coaching does not surrender people to the compass of their counselors. It’s up to me, which seems to be a key part in knowing it is SAFE to explore my bounds with people in the first place. I am not putting all my stock in one person, rather I am becoming more familiar with myself AS a person. (very healing for esteem..)
7) Inspiring play when everything is serious
Lastly, it was also a nice mix of seriousness and playfulness. Boundaries can fluctuate, and it also reinforces the seriousness and validity of boundaries being a pathway for my mind and my experience. It’s easy to subside preferences / boundaries as petty things when they aren’t really paid attention to… This modality reminds me what I put out is real, and impactful.
To learn more, download the ebook: How to Hold Space for Soul-based Transformation Here
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