Working with clients who feel “stuck” might seem challenging, but in my experience as a coach, these situations often present the most powerful opportunities for transformational change. Let’s explore why being “stuck” isn’t a problem to solve – it’s actually a gateway to profound personal transformation.

Understanding What “Stuck” Really Means

When clients describe themselves as feeling stuck, they’ve typically:

• Attempted numerous solutions without achieving their desired results
• Feel frustrated with their current way of being in the world
• Have a desire for something they want but can’t seem to reach

From a systemic coaching perspective, this state of being “stuck” reveals something fascinating: there’s an equal or greater force maintaining the current state than the force pushing for change. This balance isn’t random – it’s deeply meaningful.

The Hidden Wisdom in Stuckness

Most coaches instinctively focus on strengthening the client’s motivation for change. However, there is gold in understanding the forces that maintain the status quo. For an unsuspecting eye, being stuck can look like a client who has ‘resistance to change’. And it’s true that parts of the client’s system do not align with that change just yet. But these forces aren’t just resisting for the heck of it. They are not just obstacles – they’re valuable sources of information:

1. Protective Intelligence

These internal forces typically emerged as protective mechanisms, designed to maintain psychological well-being. They’re not barriers; they’re guardians of the client’s emotional safety.

2. Developmental Context

What makes this approach particularly powerful is recognising that these protective mechanisms developed from the client’s perspective at the time – which could be during childhood. A solution that made perfect sense to a four-year-old might still be operating in an adult’s life.

3. Healing Potential

Perhaps most importantly, these seemingly resistant forces often contain exactly what the client needs for healing. They’re not blocking progress; they’re holding the key to it.

Working with Metaphor: A Non-Linear Path to Change

One of the most effective ways to work with stuck clients is through embodied metaphor, in the way that we do in Soul-based Coaching. Our approach offers several advantages:

• We bypass the need to excavate past trauma
• We avoids getting tangled up in narrative details
• And we allow healing to emerge naturally through the client’s own symbolic experience

Once our clients’ inner metaphors change, so do the ways they think, feel and act. Change on the outside is the natural byproduct of this healing.

The Paradox of Transformation

Here’s what might surprise many coaches: the most powerful way to work with stuck clients is to approach them without an agenda for change. This paradoxical approach creates space for:

• Deep respect for the client’s current state
• Genuine curiosity about their system
• Recognition of the wisdom in their current pattern

And once you help the client tap into the wisdom of both their current patterns and the parts of their system that hold wisdom about what is possible for your client, then transformation becomes quite magical. In 20 years, I’ve never had a client who didn’t surprise me about what was possible!

Embracing the Stuck State

When we view being “stuck” not as a problem to solve but as a system poised for transformation, everything changes. The very state of being stuck contains within it all the elements needed for profound change – when we know how to work with it rather than against it.

Key Takeaways for Coaches:

• Honour the protective mechanisms in your client’s system
• Work with embodied metaphor rather than direct problem-solving
• Approach stuck states with curiosity rather than an agenda for change
• Trust that the system knows its path to healing, and allow yourself to be guided by the wisdom in the system

And to learn how to do this well, join us for our next Masterclass!

Conclusion

The next time you work with a client who feels stuck, remember: you’re not just dealing with an obstacle – you’re engaging with a system that’s perfectly balanced for a powerful transformation. By approaching these situations with respect, curiosity, and paradoxically, without pushing for change, you create the conditions for profound and lasting transformation.

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