In a way it is so simple, Holding Space.
But – we rarely do it.
We rarely, when someone who comes to us, give them our complete attention. Hold a space for them where we are ‘just’ there to listen. To receive their experience.
We often feel we have to do something.
Say things like ‘yes, I know exactly what you mean, that happened to me too/ my cousin’s cousin did that too/ all my clients have that..’
Or something like: ‘Okay, I know what to do, here it is: …..’.
Or, without saying anything, leading them into an exercise, anything from an embodiment practice to a reframe.
We just love offering our help, our thoughts and our experiences.
We love to do something to make things better for that person. Fix their situation – or actually, help them get rid of their uncomfortable feelings. (With the added bonus that we don’t have to feel them either.)
And all of these come from our yang side. The masculine ‘go-fix-it’ side. The ‘get-it-under-control’ side. The ‘let’s-make-this happen’ side.
But you know what, if you can muster the courage to ‘just’ Hold Space, what you will start to find, is that magic can happen.
Because then you surrender to the healing power of yin. And yin is the feminine side (and it doesn’t matter if you are male or female, this is in you too). The ‘messy-is-sometimes-part-of-how-we-grow-and-heal’ side. The ‘everything-always-changes’ side. The ‘this-is-so-nourishing-and-healing’ side.
As a Yin-healer (a potent ancient healing technique that has stood the test of time very well), I have seen the incredible power of yin to heal, grow and transform. Again and again.
Where discomfort disappears, insights happen spontaneously. And they come to stay.
The core of what yin brings, is that our client is okay, exactly as they are – and so are you. (And I know we often say that – but do we truly feel that way? Do our clients feel that way? Does what we do to help them make them feel that way?)
Yin releases them from their struggles, and helps them see their truth ~ the one beyond the favourite stories of their mind. It helps them release emotions, see what they want to change, and take action.
There is one cosmic wink happening here. The insights they will get, the actions they will take, might not be the ones we would think most appropriate for them. Part of you may want to scream: ‘Really??? That’s what you take from this?’. And of course it’s okay to share your view and feelings on this. Especially if you think they or others might get hurt as a result.
But wait (extra long and then some) before you do this. First give them the chance to embrace what is happening. To experience the natural shifts that can happen for them when they stay in yin. And see if you can trust life’s intelligence as it runs through them. They are divinely powerful. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
That is when you start to become familiar with the power of yin. This will bring you to the edge of getting to know one of the most potent sources of healing, growth and transformation.
An incredible foundation for all your change work, and for Soul-based Coaching.
It is right here for you.
And if you would like the tools and skills that can help you access Yin in Holding Space – the full version ebook shares them all. A great Summer read.