Is your coaching identity wrapped up in doing?

by | Mar 1, 2024


It is easy to have your coaching identity wrapped up in ‘doing’. In the things you think you are supposed to do for clients that will make the difference.

We also all know that we are essentially human beings – and not human doings. But bringing that into practice is not always easy.

Research suggests that the quality of our being is a large component of what makes therapy – and coaching – successful, not so much the modality that is chosen. And this gives us a big clue as to what we can do to make our work even more effective.

Here are two practices that you can use to significantly impact your quality of being – and your client results:

Your first practice: Presencing

Presencing is a practice that invites you to become present with yourself, with what is in this very moment.

Without judgement or outcome. No hurry. Without having to ‘relax’. Without ignoring emotions or physical sensations. This is a type of meditation practice, where you take just a few minutes to notice what is present in and moving through you.

It is a practice of radical inclusion. Where you receive your experience of life in that very moment completely as it is. Without it having to feel, be, or become a specific flavour. All emotions and states are equally welcome. Calm is as welcome as excited or frustrated. The goal is simply to become aware of what is happening in the moment in your body, mind & soul. So that you get to intimately know the way the currents of energy, emotion, feelings, thoughts and physical sensations can run through you, without you getting lost in stories about them.

The great paradox is that without focussing on it as the goal, the more you become present to what is inside of you in this moment, the more time seems to slow down, and the more calm and relaxed you generally start to feel.

When you become familiar with becoming more present with yourself, you can start to bring that presence into interactions with others.

Your second practice: Holding Space

Here, we bring our six guidelines into relationship:

  • Be present in and with your body
  • Let go of outcome
  • Let go of judgement
  • Connect from the heart
  • Trust deeply,
  • and only interfere when what’s unfolding doesn’t serve the client.

A short practice of Holding Space reveals so much about how and when we, as coaches: 

  • lean forward,
  • how we pick up and process what is being shared,
  • how we might take responsibility for things shared in the space that isn’t ours to take,
  • and how our own systems respond in emotions, feelings, sensations, thoughts to what is happening.

Noticing them means that you can start to disengage from your subconscious automatic responses, and they way they interfere with the coaching process.

Practicing Holding Space is treasure trove for finding some of the most defining patterns for your work, that decide what your work can bring for your clients, and what it can’t bring.

So really, this ought to be standard practice for all coaches. Because as you continue, you will meet meet layer after layer of patterns that can be undone. Making your life easier, but more importantly, deepening the impact of your work for your clients.


Presencing and Holding Space are core practices throughout our course curriculum in The Academy for Soul-based Coaching.

Backed by neuroscience, they improve your work and improve your joy & ease while you work.

Win – win – win


To find out more about Soul-based Coaching and how it can serve you:



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This is the foundation for any Soul-based Change.

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Love that you are here! It’s a pleasure to share what I’ve learned in 25 yrs of coaching and teaching coaches since 2006. At the Academy for Soul-based Coaching, the team and me have reached 1000s of coaches, therapists and healers, helping them have phenomenal, embodied results.

On a personal note, I’m a bi-sexual, perimenopausal (read sleep-deprived) self-anointed Priestess who craves the spiritual as much as I do the practical, connecting seeming opposites in true Gemini style – and that is about all I know about astrology.

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