Grief is not sexy, but…

by | Jul 13, 2022

We are having parties again. 

Birthday parties, where we meet people outside of their zoom screen. 

Seeing friends of friends that disappeared for the last 2 years.

Talking, laughing. 


It’s really nice. 

But also, a big wave of grief hit me this week. 

Realising that people have started their full scale living again. 


Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to hear about all the things people get up to. 

But I also realised that the last 2 years, the world kind of joined my rhythm. 


The rhythm of living with chronic illness. 

Where my world is quite small, and going out to eat is a challenge. 

Where work (as amazing as it is) lives online.

Where lots of fun plans have to change into rain checks.

Where disappointment and limitation are just part of what is. 

I’ve learned to organise my life around it. 


And so after 2 years, when I am confronted again with how others live their lives in slightly more ‘normal’ times, I feel it. 

Another layer of stuff to process for me. 

Not a new theme, no new things ‘happened’. 

It’s just part of my reality. 


It reminds me of how often coaches need to learn to be with grief. 

Their own and their clients.


For new, recent losses. 

For saying goodbye to identities or fantasies about who we thought we were, of the world we thought we lived in.

For old layers of sedimented grief that never had a space to surface and be aired and honoured and witnessed. 


Holding space for grief opens a sacred portal. 

Our flashy, shiny, “I’m most definitely successful” world has no tolerance for grief. 

For the parts that don’t look sexy from the outside. For the parts that seem ‘stuck’ or ‘endless’ or ‘not moving’.


But honouring grief is a life giving practice. It is a doorway into our innate (born-with) capacity for healing and transformation. 

An important one. 


What grieving wants to be done in you? 

After two years of pandemic, I have no doubt something has been waiting for your attention. 

What if we honour this together, in our Sacred Circle? 

Not to drown in sorrow, not to glorify tears. 

But to honour the parts that hurt. And to honour you and each other for walking your path with all that’s part of it.


Join us on Thursday July 14th for our next Soul-based Coaching Circle. 

You can sign up here


Love to read more?

Download our popular ebook and deepen your ability to Hold Space.

This is the foundation for any Soul-based Change.

Find your personal growth edge here:


Love that you are here! It’s a pleasure to share what I’ve learned in 25 yrs of coaching and teaching coaches since 2006. At the Academy for Soul-based Coaching, the team and me have reached 1000s of coaches, therapists and healers, helping them have phenomenal, embodied results.

On a personal note, I’m a bi-sexual, perimenopausal (read sleep-deprived) self-anointed Priestess who craves the spiritual as much as I do the practical, connecting seeming opposites in true Gemini style – and that is about all I know about astrology.

Want to share what brought you here?  Tell me!